A Nation of Goats and Sheep, From PC to PSL

9/7/08

From the Sports Desk

A Nation of Goats and Sheep, From PC to PSL

By TS Penn

It appears that these days’ people will pretty much eat anything fed to them like a starved Iraqi goat. It seems to have gained irreversible momentum when America gouged itself on a 12-course “All You Can Eat” buffet of Political Correctness. They are still stuffing their faces as I write this blog. They slop away with their heads so deep in those stainless steel buffet pans they are oblivious to the pile of crap building up behind them. To hell with personal responsibility there is no time for that now.

The liberal community organizer extortionists and personal injury lawyers are having a field day at their own personal cash/power troughs. The always-hungry pork barrel politicians at all levels of government have quickly exploited this opportunity. A surge in PC fueled legislation and town ordinances have been implemented in the name of protecting us from ourselves. Be happy and nice to each other, have some more to eat, pay no attention to that twisted bastard cackling out loud behind the curtain. Bicycle helmets, seat belts, vehicle cell phone bans, jaywalking and even the composition of Little League baseball bats. I guess the local Little League brats fell behind on their political vig. Screw the little bastards! Tell their parents to get them out there in front of the local supermarkets begging for change more often. It doesn’t build character like a car wash but it will teach the little urchins a useful skill in these treacherous times of Political Correctness.

The PC Nazis established a definitive victory in the war against personal responsibility and freedom with the abolition of smoking in privately owned establishments. The outlawing of sports loving Americans to have a beer and a smoke at your favorite bar as you watch the game was met with inferior firepower and an attitude that the it could never happen.

The game has been changed for the average sports fan. That major casualty of personal freedom from the smoking ban in bars was but a shot across the bow. The icons of Americana, holy sanctuaries of our fathers and their fathers, the den of the hard core sports fan was changed for ever in one powerful swing of the PC broadsword. The game has changed. The working man, the heartbeat of this country has lost along with thousands of mom and pop, shot and beer havens where the smell of stale beer and heavy smoke provided a cloud that obscured the wickedness of it all. The Alamo of blue collar American life has fallen to a liberal PC panzer blitz that is only challenged by the public through anonymous callers to radio talk shows.

As a rule, when it comes to cashing in, corporate America, motivated entrepreneurs, and small businesses, are quick to pick up the pieces and see the angle. They seldom shy away from a fight but when they loose, little time is spent on licking wounds. The smart money is on defining, and adapting a plan to exploit the lessons learned. In the case of the lost war on political correctness the lesson learned was that the public are goats and will eat pretty much anything. The second lesson is that if you blow enough smoke up their ass they may bitch and moan when you move the trough to a harder to reach position, but they will follow. The goats then morph into sheep. Then Bob’s your rich uncle.

This now brings me to crux of the blog. One of the first corporations to recognize the validity of the goat to sheep analogy is the National Football League and its team franchises. They have long been the leaders in the art of the consumer fleece. $12 parking, $6 hot dogs, $7 dollar draft beer, $4 dollar pretzel, $25 baseball cap, $90 team jersey, $350 for nosebleed tickets for a family of 4. The fleecing of the Goatsheep? …Priceless.

You need to understand that pro-sports arena/stadium seats are like real estate. They’re not making any more available with rare minor exceptions.

Enter stage left, a bi-product of the far left PC blitzkrieg that is available only to that far right waiting list line. The PSL, Personal Seat License. Or, the “Purge Sports Lovers” program. This is a program being implemented by a growing number of professional football franchises. This low risk move offers the teams an ability to raise fast cash for a new stadium, a quarterback, two 2^nd round tackles and a Brazilian place kicker. This is done with the blessings of the NFL Vatican. Hell, how bad could it be? We have swallowed the $4 hotdog and swilled copious amounts of your $7 watered down draft Coors Light. Well, let’s take a look at an actual case history of a personal friend of mine under the PSL fleece.

Actual True Case of Tommy D. (Name changed for fear of NFL retribution) Tommy D has held season tickets to a NJ/NY area NFL football franchise for 50 years. He has 8 season tickets, on the 50 yard line, lower level. For this loyal fan, now in his mid eighties, his costs to keep his seats will cost him $160,000 per year for the privilege of paying $5,600 per game for those 8 seats. That is $20,000 to purchase a PSL for each seat, and $700 per seat, per game cost.

The sport PSL is social cleansing for profit. It is purging of many long time loyal fans and families who can’t make the enormous new vig. The NFL is telling them to hit the road. If you can’t come up with a 4-5-figure tribute to the team bosses then we don’t want your kind around. These teams look at the core fan as tailgating, beer swilling, and rabid parasites. You were extremely useful... but we need the seats. We love you all! Be sure to catch us on our upcoming new weekly PPG, Pay Per Game program coming to cable soon.

They continue…By Banishing the financially weak we can lower our insurance costs according to our lawyers. We only want to enhance the quality of the fan experience by weeding out tenants of “underutilized and blighted seats.” These seats are a commodity that can provide an increased investment in the team. In addition it provides a potentially lucrative opportunity for our financially capable, current ticket holders. That last part is true. If you have season tickets, mortgage your home to keep them. You will at least triple your investment in 2 years.

There is no doubt that this PSL thing sucks. But they got you by the short and curlys my friend. The goats will not starve in this story, they’ll move on. Goats will eat anything. The trust fund docile and/or shrewd sheep however will follow. College funds will be depleted and child support payments will run into arrears as the long time, hard core fan, tries to meet the perfectly legal and perfectly controversial extortion demands or succumb to the financial cleaver of economic cleansing of PSL. The NFL and team fan loyalty to the core fan base has been exposed as an exploitive ruse. The rules no longer apply. The PSL, Purge Sports Lovers, program shows that these teams never considered their loyal fans as anything but simple-minded rubes. If the whimper of backlash against PSL is any indication, maybe they are right. I wonder just how long it will take before half naked fat guys painted in team colors in snow covered bleachers will be replaced by pencil neck investment bankers in pin stripe suits and corporate logo umbrellas. Monday Night Football will trade in Hank Williams Jr.’s beloved introduction for that annoying guy from the free-credit-report.com commercials. PC to PSL, Goats morphed to sheep and a sale on veal at Shop Rite.

Reporting from the Sports Desk, wondering what a stadium press pass is going for these days,

TS Penn