The Strange and Terrible Story of the Semi-Domesticated Primates

The Semi-Domesticated Primates spent most
of their time trying to hide what they were
doing, since most of the time they were acting
Just Awful. And those who were known to act
Just Awful were understood to be No Good Shits.

Dick Cheney is a No Good Shit. George W. Bush
would be a No Good Shit, except he's not smart
enough to know that he's acting Just Awful.
He thinks he's a Great President, 'cause Dick
Cheney tells him so. And so does Condi Rice.
Condi Rice is a No Good Shit.

The Semi-domesticated Primates followed the
territorial dominance posturing/aggression
behavior of their undomesticated ancestors.
Where the ancestors would shit into leaves
and fling the shit across the tribal boundary
at the rival predatory gang, the Semi-
Domesticated Primates would put squiggles
of ink onto leaves of paper and hurl them
across tribal boundaries at rival predatory
gangs.

They also devised elaborate rituals and
structures which allowed a few No Good Shits
to monopolize most of the good food, clean
water, nice places to live, and desirable
mates to procreate with. The rest of the Semi-
domesticated Primates had to make do with
what they were left with, because they were
not smart enough to figure out how they were
being screwed, or because they didn't have
the power to stop it.

The power to stop it required education and
awareness on the part of enough of the
Semi-domesticated Primates that they could
smash the heads on the No Good Shits in and
get away with it. The No Good Shits became
very good at keeping enough of the others
distracted, divided, or ignorant enough that
the No Good Shits could continue to act Just
Awful. And so it went. [with thanks to Robert
Anton Wilson, Timothy Leary, and Kurt Vonnegut.]